Take Time to Take Care

When we realize our energy has been scattered about, spilling over into worrying about and analyzing what is wrong with the world and with ourselves, taking on too much responsibility and blame for the difficulties in our relationships, over-identifying with the feelings and pains of others, so much so that we are not even sure how it is that we feel anymore...it is time to retreat inward and refill our cup with loving compassion. Refilling our cup means taking time to take care of ourselves, and being in tune with our own feelings, our own voice, and our own needs. With trust that intuitively we know what it is we need to feel renewed and rejuvenated. Realign ourselves with our priorities so that our energy is expended on what is most important for us. Bring awareness to our self-talk through meditation or journaling, and if we are being too harsh with ourselves, lighten up with more loving and compassionate dialogue. Read an excerpt from an inspirational book, watch a movie. Pamper our bodies with a facial, a bath, a yoga session. Enliven our senses with scented candles, incense, flower essences, healthy good-tasting food. Implore patience and empathic understanding with ourselves, if we're tired, slow down, take a nap, or go to bed early. Remember we are never alone, and reach out to a supportive and kind friend or family member, pray, or meditate. Rejuvenate ourselves through our connection to the natural world, and go for a walk, sit under the shade of a tree, bask in the sun, sit under the moonlight with a cup of tea and a journal. Take time to take care.

A Glimpse of Our Shadow

It is a dark and painful moment of awareness when we suddenly realize that we are doing the exact thing that we are most critical of in someone else. The weight of that new awareness, and the pain we may have caused ourselves or others as a result can feel overwhelming. The urge to run and crawl under a rock, freeze up like a deer in headlights, blame someone or something else can be immense, anything to avoid feeling the pain that can accompany such moments of clarity. So what happens if we don't freeze up, run away and hide, or blame others? We feel the pain. We allow the pain to move through us, we feel it in each one of our cells, and we don't resist it, we surrender to it, we embrace it. We acknowledge our truth, our imperfections, and the pain and shame that accompany denying any part of ourselves. We open to feeling, so that we may open to true healing. And just when we think we can't stand it any longer, we see the first rays of light of the approaching dawn, and we breathe a sigh of relief. Our pain has not consumed us, we are strong, we are resilient, and we discover a great freedom in knowing the truth. All in an instant we can both sympathize with the one that hurt us, and the one that we are are hurting, and consciously choose how to treat ourselves and others.

Live a life that you can feel at home in

I am at the tail end of my long journey through graduate school, I’m in my fourth year. That is what happens when you have nearly enough credits for two Master’s programs (Transpersonal Psychology and Counseling Psychology), and you have a baby in the middle. My husband and I are living an unconventional life with our dreams and passions leading the way, of which I receive considerable criticism for doing. My reaction to the criticism and doubt is what I work on now. I am coming to grips with the reality that what ultimately matters most is how I think and feel about my life, and that I must let go of the frustration I feel from not meeting the expectations that others have for me and the anger I feel for not being truly seen and heard; and that I must let go of the fight, because as long as I fight, I lose. Who am I fighting against really? Myself in the end, because as long as I allow the opinions of others to rule my life and cause me distress, I will never reach my full potential as a human being and will hinder those I choose to journey with as well. So now I find myself stepping into my own shoes with my head held high with an embodied knowing that I am living my life as authentically as I can, how else can any of us truly live a life worth living? A quote I picked up along the way that has stayed with me is

“the reward for conformity is that everyone liked you except yourself.”

So, be yourself, love yourself, and live a life that you can feel at home in. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to treat others the way you yourself would like to be treated...