Feeling nourished, focused, and free

 I know that no man, or woman is an island, but sometimes when we feel too attached, or dependent on receiving approval from others, we need to retreat inward, and wrap ourselves in the warmth and love of our own little cocoons, and ask ourselves why we are searching, and anxiously grasping for approval and self-worth outside of ourselves. Why do we need permission from anyone to be ourselves, think our own thoughts, feel our own feelings, and follow our own light? What drives and motivates us to do what we do, and be what we be? If I am driven solely by the praise and approval I receive from others, then when I don't get those strokes, I will feel frustrated, needy, less than, and disconnected from myself. If I am driven by the fear of not doing the “right” thing, then I am not open to the possibility of inspired ideas and creativity. It's about accepting ourselves, taking value in who we are, and what we want, and who we are naturally. If we are acting, and moving from a place that is natural for us, we stop struggling against ourselves, and we are free to feel the joy that accompanies living a truthful existence. We must live out our own potential, because when we start or continue to acquiesce to the expectations that others may or may not have of us, then a part of us goes silent, a part of us becomes disconnected to the whole, to the beauty that is uniquely us. It takes a risk to fully be ourselves, and let it all hang out, especially when we have been conditioned to be what everyone around us wants us to be. Being ourselves comes with a certain sense of vulnerability, but there is also a freedom that comes from embracing who we are that is priceless, and very much worth all of the energy, pain, and effort that may be expended in the process. If we are not aligned with our purpose, how then can we go about exploring and embracing that which is uniquely us? For me, writing is one of the ways in which I stay connected to myself, my purpose, and my voice, and it helps keep me nourished, focused, and free. What helps you feel nourished, focused, and free? Meditation, yoga, running, dancing, singing, sewing, crafting, writing....?

Tuning in and being present

 It always seems like there are so many things that need to get done in a day, and then there's caring for and being present for my 11 month old baby girl, which trumps all the rest- She's so alert, and so tuned in to me and the world around her. My day can can be completely filled up by just attending to her many needs, and then there's finding a balance between tending to her needs, my own needs, my husband's needs, my dog's needs, and the household needs, which can feel like a daunting task at times. But being there for her, really being there with presence, mind cleared of all the clutter of school work, finances, and everyday stresses can bring peace. Looking into her bright blue eyes, so full of wonder, curiosity, and complete vulnerability always reminds me of what is truly important- A little soul that I am here to help guide, and to help her discover her divine purpose in this world- that is just magic, and simultaneously tuning into my own divine purpose in this life- that which brings me joy requires me to stay in the present moment and become aware of my own unique way in which I am destined to give back to this world. Everyone always says, time flies, so why then don't more people live in accordance with that reality? To make everyday count, to make certain that we are living in alignment with our purpose, with the essence of what makes us, us? Unique from all the rest? Living as if life has meaning with each interaction, how can we live more purposefully? First, by tuning in to the core of who we are, what made us happy as children? What were our goals, aspirations? What did we dream of when we imagined our lives as grown-ups? When my daughter goes to sleep for the night, what will I spend my time and energy doing and being? I start by having a voice, and expressing myself. What will you do, how will you be at the end and start to each day? Let's live life as if it matters, and make each moment count, so that when we look back on our lives here on Earth, we can say with confidence and pride that we really lived. 

Living in the present moment

Our pursuit of material wealth, our obsession with time and needing to fill our time with endless work and activity, our disconnection from God, our feelings, and our bodies, and our worry about, whatever... There could be an endless list of things to worry about; not meeting the expectations of others, finances, kids, health, state of the world, politics, relationships etc, that can deter us from seeing the beauty and possibility in each moment, can keep us from making peace with ourselves, and others, and can keep us from seeing the magic and purpose of our lives.
If we are living in the present moment, and not being pulled by our fears, we are open to seeing the unique gifts each moment has to offer, and the limitless potentiality we have to shape our lives to feel happy and at peace with ourselves, others, and the world. We are happy by simply being alive, open to discovery, wonderment, and creation. Let us bask in the richness of our lives, and connect with our thoughts, feelings, and intentions to reach our greatest potential.

Grateful for great friends

 Why is it that we are our own harshest critics? It seems we could all be much happier and successful if we could just get out of our own way! So, where would I be without the support and encouragement of my friends? There's nothing like a good friend to lift you up and tell you that your writing isn't shit, and that she enjoys reading what it is you have to say. Now, I'm not saying we should find all of our self-worth through people liking and approving of everything that we say or do, as a matter of fact, I am currently coming to terms with the fact that there will probably always be someone who doesn't approve of or like something that I am saying or doing, but that it doesn't necessarily mean that I should stop saying or doing that something... What would the world be like if we could all press on in the face of criticism and fully be ourselves anyway? I give a silent, or rather not so silent thanks to all of the supportive and encouraging people in my life, thank you.

Today was spent in the company of good friends, good food, and a funky Native American cover band. A good friend and her new boyfriend came to visit and brought over yummy fresh ingredients and whipped up a delicious greek salad, mango avocado salsa, garlicky pita bread, paired with italian beer. I was filled to the brim with both nourishment and gratitude for the kindness and generosity of friends. It also felt nice to give my arms a rest and let my friends enjoy holding the little one while I watched in delight as others took joy in the task of caring for and interacting with new life.

As I am feeling very grateful for friends, I am also touched by the strength and resilience of people in general in the face of loss and pain. My friend's new boyfriend lost his sister 1 year ago, and yet he still exudes generosity, kind-heartedness, and love. The strength of the human spirit astonishes and humbles me. Loss is inevitable, and yet people still go on living and loving, and piecing together their lives and their families amidst some of the greatest tragedies. The pain of loss when you love someone with all your heart is great, but can we truly love and be in the moment when we are living with the fear of loss? When we first brought home our baby after she was born, the love I felt for her was so immense that it brought me to tears, and then I became even more teary when I imagined what it would be like if anything ever happened to her, and the pain quickly became overwhelmingly great. We must live knowing that our time on earth is limited, and that we do not know how and when each of us will exit, and still we must love to our fullest potential because otherwise are we fully living and being present for our relationships? If we can accept the fact that we are all going to leave this earth, when we do not know, and pour the energy that could be consumed by the fear of losing into loving and appreciating those around us with gusto, then perhaps we could live more presently and with less regret.