Walking with the Beauty of the Divine: A Poem to Express our Connection with Mother Earth

With open senses, I meander through,

A garden of variety, so carefully tended to.

Tamed and trimmed, the plants and trees are beautiful and yet contained.

In the space their glory may shine,

With the spirit of the divine.

Effortless and beautiful in their own right,

They shine humbly in God's light.

Am I too that beautiful?

The caresses of cattail grasses and velvet leaves envelop me with warmth and comfort,

The bubbling and babbling of a stream of coy fish filled with mothers and daughters,

Some branches are tangled, some stems are thorned, and others, they are adorned,

with lavishly colored flowers, ornamental fruit, and cones.

The low roar of waves enveloping the sandy shores below washes over me and nurtures me as familiar and unknown as the life bearing waters of our mothers,

Holding the mystery and majesty of all life,

Filled with dreams, fears, monsters, and awesome might-

The wilderness,

Magnificence in its own right.

Unchartered, like my depths, wild and divine.

From Behind the Silk Screen; Seeing Me for Me. A Poem of Reclaiming Our Authentic Selves.

From behind a silk screen,

I see with my own eyes,

A scene taking place,

with me in disguise.

I watch me,

Shielding my feelings from true expression,

An actor playing a role,

That no longer gives the impression,

Of an accurate reflection,

Of the me that is me,

The me that's inside that only I can see.

For as I evade me true expression,

It goes in to hide,

And colors my world,

A blind projection on passerbys.

So, I come face to face with a face I have long ignored,

And see I can no longer allow myself to be lured,

Into a lull of a water-downed me,

Appeasing those around me because I think it will please.

I know the origin goes back years to date,

Generation after generation perpetuating its fate.

In this moment I know,

Only the truth will set me free,

And I drop the false face,

And let me see me for me.

Here I am, I have arrived. A Poem of Transformation.

I sink down low, into the Earth,

I am embraced by her warmth, by her security,

I am cradled in her womb.

I accept myself, I trust myself,

I stop acting and start being,

down, down to the Earth,

Where I am enveloped by her warmth, her comfort, her security, her nourishment,

humbled and conscious.

I let go of all blame and see the truth-

see myself in the truth.

My tears flood the gates that have held my heart captive,

and my love comes bursting forth,

my fears have lost their place to hide.

I realize my worth.

A worth immeasurable by any standard currency.

The fires of my anguish are cooled and extinguished by my tears,

and I get down on my knees.

I am no longer guilty.

The chains of my bondage vanish into thin air,

and the calming sounds of moving water calm my soul.

I thank all that is good, I thank the Spirit that guides us.

I let the sun warm and nourish my body, kiss my exposed skin ,

and warm the fabric of my clothing

Here I dwell in a place that embraces each part of me,

I seek answers in all ways that speak to my heart.

Here I am, I have arrived.

Tasting the sweetness of life

We can learn from sitting in the company of the trees how to be rooted, flexible, and strong. We can learn from observing the ocean tides how to go with the flow of life and allow our experiences and emotions to move through us without resistance or struggle. We can learn from the stillness and expansiveness of air to allow our minds to be free and open. We can learn from other animals how to be wild and true to our own nature. We can learn from the untamed wilderness, of our own inner untamed wilderness. We can learn from the sea moss that lives on the tree branches that dip into ocean during high tide that we are a part of a web of interconnected life, and that we need others in order to survive and thrive in the world. We can learn through observing a fruit bearing plant that we are all born to fulfill a purpose, and that with space to grow, caring attention, a forgiving environment, water, and the proper nutrients we will bear the fruits of our labor. We can learn from spending time with a family pet of the inherent need in all of us to receive love and affection, and the capacity within all of us to give and receive love unconditionally. We can learn from the yards and gardens of our neighbors of our desire to create beauty and wilderness all around us and tend to others with care and attention. We can learn from the birds of our freedom to move and sing aloud our true song. We can learn so much if we just open our ears, our eyes, and our hearts to the consciousness of each living and non-living thing all around us. If only we could stop for a moment to step outside the flow of our own thoughts to be in communion with all that surrounds us in each moment, could we taste the sweetness of what it is to be alive in this world. Each moment is a gift and an opportunity to love and engage more fully with the world, and to see ourselves and others as a loving God would see.

Ode to living

At the end of the day we can only try and live our lives the best way that we can, treat others and ourselves with loving kindness and respect, put our hearts into what we do to earn a living, and make peace with our lives. We remember who we are, where we have come from, and give thanks to those that have guided us along the way. We acknowledge the lessons from our more painful experiences, and grow stronger and wiser from having done so. We embrace whole-heartedly who we are so that we may live our lives to our fullest potential, and commit to being a bit kinder and gentler everyday, allowing our hearts to open more fully to the experience of living, with all of its pains and joys. We love even though eventually we will all lose. We experience the pain of letting go and realize that nothing is ever truly ours to keep. We learn from the trees and remember our humility and stay down to earth, grounded, and rooted, and realize that we are nothing more and nothing less than ourselves. We remember our connection to one another and share in the experience of being human. We allow ourselves to be touched and transformed by the lives of those around us, but we do not allow ourselves to be engulfed and lost in the lives of those around us. We remain grounded in our own experiences of who we are, where we have have come from, where we are now, and where we are going. We stay awake to our experiences and love ourselves and others with a heart that is wide open to give and receive. We live our lives with meaning and purpose.

The power of reaching out to others

When we're feeling down, stressed, or anxious, the tendency for many of us is to isolate, to retreat into our shells, for fear of being rejected, condemned, or misunderstood... If only we could remember to reach out to a friend or family member, we would quickly realize that we are not alone, that we are never alone. Then would we remember that we are all connected through our common experience of being human, and that all of us at some point feel insecure, depressed, anxious, lonely, angry, frustrated, or stressed. And rather than judge and condemn ourselves for feeling a particular way, perhaps we can be a friend to ourselves, and treat ourselves with the kind, loving, compassion, and respect that we would treat a loved one in need of some tlc! So, reach out to a loved one, or open yourself to an honest encounter with someone new and expand your web of connection and be reminded of your humanness! Sometimes all we need to brighten our horizons and lift our spirits is connection with another human being, paired with a bit of honest and true dialogue.

Tasting the fruits of Orange County, California: coming into contact and connection with the natural world in a place I least expected.

It began with a feeling of melancholy for the wilderness I'd left behind in Northern California, a wilderness of open spaces, raging rivers, bubbling creeks, and wild flowers. This hunger for the natural lead to the rise of a desire to connect to the place that I am in now, a place where I least expected to feel the embrace of mother nature, in the suburbs of Orange County, California.

When I take time time to take notice, I see that the neighborhood streets are lined with trees, plants, and flowers living in harmony with one another, planted with care, patience, and an inherent desire for the natural. The streets are alive with the breath of life, their inhabitants singing joyous tunes heard over the faint hum of cars buzzing and humming in the distance. Musical melodies announcing the birth of blooms and new life, awaken my senses to the scents of Spring. I dizzy in the intoxicating perfumes of jasmine, honeysuckle, and rose buds. The sounds of paradise reverberate through the song of the wild parrots, as I step out into the tamed wilderness and meander through the streets in awe and reverence. With awareness, we can open ourselves to a connection with nature even in the most populated of places, and in fact we will find that it nourishes our souls and reminds us of our connection to the greater natural world. All we have to do is take the time to take notice and appreciate the life even amidst the concrete jungles we may find ourselves in.

Letting Go

 

     I watch my mother carry my daughter down to the shoreline to take a walk, her motherly intuition must have told her of my unconscious need for time and space, or perhaps she knows me well enough to know that I am sad. I lay down on the warm sandy earth, and realize just how much I have needed to feel anchored. I no longer have to smile, and I let my jaw muscles relax and I am surprised how much tension I have been harboring in my face. I relax my abdominal muscles as well, and lay my hands by my side, palms facing up. I allow myself to drink in the salty sea air, and relish in the warmth of the sun on my skin. I listen to the rhythmic beating of the waves crashing on the shore, and suddenly I am overtaken by tears of sadness, I cover my face with my daughter's bathing suit and allow the sadness that comes in waves to move through me. I cry because I have chosen to let go of trying to live up to anyone else's expectations of me, I have chosen me first, and I have chosen to reclaim my life as my own. I cry because I have been wounded, I cry because I have finally drawn a line in the sand. I notice the waves of sadness roll through me, and I notice the stillness in between. I look to my left and a sea gull watches the surf, he flies away and I feel the wind beneath his wings. I close my eyes and I imagine my spirit leaving my body and flying out over the water, diving in and out of the ocean, soaring through the air, as free as a bird, I spiral upward toward the sky like a twirling ballerina as I remember the words of my friend- let go, and I do. Waves of sadness roll through me once more as I picture my daughter running, growing up fast. In the far distance I see her flying as free as a bird, and suddenly I feel the pain of inevitable loss that will come with her growing up and leaving the nest, and yet joy and pride in watching her soar. I settle back into my body and realize the sadness has moved through me for now, and I feel lighter, and a smile comes to my lips as I see my mother and daughter approaching, I am renewed.

Boat Reflections: Seeing our own wild nature in the natural world

When my husband, daughter, and I were living on our sailboat on the river in Redwood City, California I became intimately connected with the changing weather during the times when my daughter would nap. I would sit in the cockpit and journal each day and began to see myself in the naturalness of the cloudy stillness, the heaviness and turbulence of approaching rains, and the calm clarity of the sunlit skies. I began to identify with the ever-changing mood of each day, and my heart began to open to a greater acceptance of the naturalness of my ever-changing moods. During that special time in my life, it was like I was seeing the sky, the clouds, and feeling the wind and sun on my skin for the first time, in brilliant clarity and gratitude. I relished each day on the boat, and the closer that it brought me to realizing my own wild nature. It helped me to connect to the wide spectrum of feelings that I had, and that they somehow felt okay because nature herself felt the intense rush of stormy skies and the lightness of sunny days. It also reminded me that like the weather, I am forever changing, so not to fixate or dwell on any particular state of being or feeling, as this too shall pass.

Feel For Ourselves To Feel For Another

 

     Empathy is walking in someone else's shoes, it is letting go of the colors of our own judgements, if for only an instant, so that we may feel what someone else is feeling. Step into their world and carry some of their burden, and share in some of their joy in order to truly understand. Only when we truly understand with our hearts, do our judgements, criticisms, fears, and expectations fall away a bit. When we disentangle ourselves from each other to hear our own call, we allow each of us to be free to live our own lives. Let each one of us realize our own true nature and see the history of our own walk written on the soles of our feet and on the soles of our ancestors feet. Feel for ourselves. Then, and only then, will we be able to truly feel for another.

Take Time to Take Care

When we realize our energy has been scattered about, spilling over into worrying about and analyzing what is wrong with the world and with ourselves, taking on too much responsibility and blame for the difficulties in our relationships, over-identifying with the feelings and pains of others, so much so that we are not even sure how it is that we feel anymore...it is time to retreat inward and refill our cup with loving compassion. Refilling our cup means taking time to take care of ourselves, and being in tune with our own feelings, our own voice, and our own needs. With trust that intuitively we know what it is we need to feel renewed and rejuvenated. Realign ourselves with our priorities so that our energy is expended on what is most important for us. Bring awareness to our self-talk through meditation or journaling, and if we are being too harsh with ourselves, lighten up with more loving and compassionate dialogue. Read an excerpt from an inspirational book, watch a movie. Pamper our bodies with a facial, a bath, a yoga session. Enliven our senses with scented candles, incense, flower essences, healthy good-tasting food. Implore patience and empathic understanding with ourselves, if we're tired, slow down, take a nap, or go to bed early. Remember we are never alone, and reach out to a supportive and kind friend or family member, pray, or meditate. Rejuvenate ourselves through our connection to the natural world, and go for a walk, sit under the shade of a tree, bask in the sun, sit under the moonlight with a cup of tea and a journal. Take time to take care.

A Glimpse of Our Shadow

It is a dark and painful moment of awareness when we suddenly realize that we are doing the exact thing that we are most critical of in someone else. The weight of that new awareness, and the pain we may have caused ourselves or others as a result can feel overwhelming. The urge to run and crawl under a rock, freeze up like a deer in headlights, blame someone or something else can be immense, anything to avoid feeling the pain that can accompany such moments of clarity. So what happens if we don't freeze up, run away and hide, or blame others? We feel the pain. We allow the pain to move through us, we feel it in each one of our cells, and we don't resist it, we surrender to it, we embrace it. We acknowledge our truth, our imperfections, and the pain and shame that accompany denying any part of ourselves. We open to feeling, so that we may open to true healing. And just when we think we can't stand it any longer, we see the first rays of light of the approaching dawn, and we breathe a sigh of relief. Our pain has not consumed us, we are strong, we are resilient, and we discover a great freedom in knowing the truth. All in an instant we can both sympathize with the one that hurt us, and the one that we are are hurting, and consciously choose how to treat ourselves and others.

Live a life that you can feel at home in

I am at the tail end of my long journey through graduate school, I’m in my fourth year. That is what happens when you have nearly enough credits for two Master’s programs (Transpersonal Psychology and Counseling Psychology), and you have a baby in the middle. My husband and I are living an unconventional life with our dreams and passions leading the way, of which I receive considerable criticism for doing. My reaction to the criticism and doubt is what I work on now. I am coming to grips with the reality that what ultimately matters most is how I think and feel about my life, and that I must let go of the frustration I feel from not meeting the expectations that others have for me and the anger I feel for not being truly seen and heard; and that I must let go of the fight, because as long as I fight, I lose. Who am I fighting against really? Myself in the end, because as long as I allow the opinions of others to rule my life and cause me distress, I will never reach my full potential as a human being and will hinder those I choose to journey with as well. So now I find myself stepping into my own shoes with my head held high with an embodied knowing that I am living my life as authentically as I can, how else can any of us truly live a life worth living? A quote I picked up along the way that has stayed with me is

“the reward for conformity is that everyone liked you except yourself.”

So, be yourself, love yourself, and live a life that you can feel at home in. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to treat others the way you yourself would like to be treated...

Mothers Unite

Calling all mothers who are or were co-sleepers with their babies, implement or have implemented the cry-it-out method to avoid co-sleeping, practice or don't practice attachment style parenting, nurse to sleep or don't nurse at all, work full-time, part-time, or not at all, I think you get the idea... 

Let us be connected to one another by the common threads of motherhood and womanhood. Let us refrain from judging each other on how we choose to parent, and refrain from judging ourselves on how we choose to parent, and realize we all love our children, and are doing the best we can given our life's circumstances and experiences. Let us come together as allies so that we may offer support, encouragement, and inspiration along the path.

Feeling nourished, focused, and free

 I know that no man, or woman is an island, but sometimes when we feel too attached, or dependent on receiving approval from others, we need to retreat inward, and wrap ourselves in the warmth and love of our own little cocoons, and ask ourselves why we are searching, and anxiously grasping for approval and self-worth outside of ourselves. Why do we need permission from anyone to be ourselves, think our own thoughts, feel our own feelings, and follow our own light? What drives and motivates us to do what we do, and be what we be? If I am driven solely by the praise and approval I receive from others, then when I don't get those strokes, I will feel frustrated, needy, less than, and disconnected from myself. If I am driven by the fear of not doing the “right” thing, then I am not open to the possibility of inspired ideas and creativity. It's about accepting ourselves, taking value in who we are, and what we want, and who we are naturally. If we are acting, and moving from a place that is natural for us, we stop struggling against ourselves, and we are free to feel the joy that accompanies living a truthful existence. We must live out our own potential, because when we start or continue to acquiesce to the expectations that others may or may not have of us, then a part of us goes silent, a part of us becomes disconnected to the whole, to the beauty that is uniquely us. It takes a risk to fully be ourselves, and let it all hang out, especially when we have been conditioned to be what everyone around us wants us to be. Being ourselves comes with a certain sense of vulnerability, but there is also a freedom that comes from embracing who we are that is priceless, and very much worth all of the energy, pain, and effort that may be expended in the process. If we are not aligned with our purpose, how then can we go about exploring and embracing that which is uniquely us? For me, writing is one of the ways in which I stay connected to myself, my purpose, and my voice, and it helps keep me nourished, focused, and free. What helps you feel nourished, focused, and free? Meditation, yoga, running, dancing, singing, sewing, crafting, writing....?

Tuning in and being present

 It always seems like there are so many things that need to get done in a day, and then there's caring for and being present for my 11 month old baby girl, which trumps all the rest- She's so alert, and so tuned in to me and the world around her. My day can can be completely filled up by just attending to her many needs, and then there's finding a balance between tending to her needs, my own needs, my husband's needs, my dog's needs, and the household needs, which can feel like a daunting task at times. But being there for her, really being there with presence, mind cleared of all the clutter of school work, finances, and everyday stresses can bring peace. Looking into her bright blue eyes, so full of wonder, curiosity, and complete vulnerability always reminds me of what is truly important- A little soul that I am here to help guide, and to help her discover her divine purpose in this world- that is just magic, and simultaneously tuning into my own divine purpose in this life- that which brings me joy requires me to stay in the present moment and become aware of my own unique way in which I am destined to give back to this world. Everyone always says, time flies, so why then don't more people live in accordance with that reality? To make everyday count, to make certain that we are living in alignment with our purpose, with the essence of what makes us, us? Unique from all the rest? Living as if life has meaning with each interaction, how can we live more purposefully? First, by tuning in to the core of who we are, what made us happy as children? What were our goals, aspirations? What did we dream of when we imagined our lives as grown-ups? When my daughter goes to sleep for the night, what will I spend my time and energy doing and being? I start by having a voice, and expressing myself. What will you do, how will you be at the end and start to each day? Let's live life as if it matters, and make each moment count, so that when we look back on our lives here on Earth, we can say with confidence and pride that we really lived. 

Living in the present moment

Our pursuit of material wealth, our obsession with time and needing to fill our time with endless work and activity, our disconnection from God, our feelings, and our bodies, and our worry about, whatever... There could be an endless list of things to worry about; not meeting the expectations of others, finances, kids, health, state of the world, politics, relationships etc, that can deter us from seeing the beauty and possibility in each moment, can keep us from making peace with ourselves, and others, and can keep us from seeing the magic and purpose of our lives.
If we are living in the present moment, and not being pulled by our fears, we are open to seeing the unique gifts each moment has to offer, and the limitless potentiality we have to shape our lives to feel happy and at peace with ourselves, others, and the world. We are happy by simply being alive, open to discovery, wonderment, and creation. Let us bask in the richness of our lives, and connect with our thoughts, feelings, and intentions to reach our greatest potential.

Grateful for great friends

 Why is it that we are our own harshest critics? It seems we could all be much happier and successful if we could just get out of our own way! So, where would I be without the support and encouragement of my friends? There's nothing like a good friend to lift you up and tell you that your writing isn't shit, and that she enjoys reading what it is you have to say. Now, I'm not saying we should find all of our self-worth through people liking and approving of everything that we say or do, as a matter of fact, I am currently coming to terms with the fact that there will probably always be someone who doesn't approve of or like something that I am saying or doing, but that it doesn't necessarily mean that I should stop saying or doing that something... What would the world be like if we could all press on in the face of criticism and fully be ourselves anyway? I give a silent, or rather not so silent thanks to all of the supportive and encouraging people in my life, thank you.

Today was spent in the company of good friends, good food, and a funky Native American cover band. A good friend and her new boyfriend came to visit and brought over yummy fresh ingredients and whipped up a delicious greek salad, mango avocado salsa, garlicky pita bread, paired with italian beer. I was filled to the brim with both nourishment and gratitude for the kindness and generosity of friends. It also felt nice to give my arms a rest and let my friends enjoy holding the little one while I watched in delight as others took joy in the task of caring for and interacting with new life.

As I am feeling very grateful for friends, I am also touched by the strength and resilience of people in general in the face of loss and pain. My friend's new boyfriend lost his sister 1 year ago, and yet he still exudes generosity, kind-heartedness, and love. The strength of the human spirit astonishes and humbles me. Loss is inevitable, and yet people still go on living and loving, and piecing together their lives and their families amidst some of the greatest tragedies. The pain of loss when you love someone with all your heart is great, but can we truly love and be in the moment when we are living with the fear of loss? When we first brought home our baby after she was born, the love I felt for her was so immense that it brought me to tears, and then I became even more teary when I imagined what it would be like if anything ever happened to her, and the pain quickly became overwhelmingly great. We must live knowing that our time on earth is limited, and that we do not know how and when each of us will exit, and still we must love to our fullest potential because otherwise are we fully living and being present for our relationships? If we can accept the fact that we are all going to leave this earth, when we do not know, and pour the energy that could be consumed by the fear of losing into loving and appreciating those around us with gusto, then perhaps we could live more presently and with less regret.