Grateful for great friends

 Why is it that we are our own harshest critics? It seems we could all be much happier and successful if we could just get out of our own way! So, where would I be without the support and encouragement of my friends? There's nothing like a good friend to lift you up and tell you that your writing isn't shit, and that she enjoys reading what it is you have to say. Now, I'm not saying we should find all of our self-worth through people liking and approving of everything that we say or do, as a matter of fact, I am currently coming to terms with the fact that there will probably always be someone who doesn't approve of or like something that I am saying or doing, but that it doesn't necessarily mean that I should stop saying or doing that something... What would the world be like if we could all press on in the face of criticism and fully be ourselves anyway? I give a silent, or rather not so silent thanks to all of the supportive and encouraging people in my life, thank you.

Today was spent in the company of good friends, good food, and a funky Native American cover band. A good friend and her new boyfriend came to visit and brought over yummy fresh ingredients and whipped up a delicious greek salad, mango avocado salsa, garlicky pita bread, paired with italian beer. I was filled to the brim with both nourishment and gratitude for the kindness and generosity of friends. It also felt nice to give my arms a rest and let my friends enjoy holding the little one while I watched in delight as others took joy in the task of caring for and interacting with new life.

As I am feeling very grateful for friends, I am also touched by the strength and resilience of people in general in the face of loss and pain. My friend's new boyfriend lost his sister 1 year ago, and yet he still exudes generosity, kind-heartedness, and love. The strength of the human spirit astonishes and humbles me. Loss is inevitable, and yet people still go on living and loving, and piecing together their lives and their families amidst some of the greatest tragedies. The pain of loss when you love someone with all your heart is great, but can we truly love and be in the moment when we are living with the fear of loss? When we first brought home our baby after she was born, the love I felt for her was so immense that it brought me to tears, and then I became even more teary when I imagined what it would be like if anything ever happened to her, and the pain quickly became overwhelmingly great. We must live knowing that our time on earth is limited, and that we do not know how and when each of us will exit, and still we must love to our fullest potential because otherwise are we fully living and being present for our relationships? If we can accept the fact that we are all going to leave this earth, when we do not know, and pour the energy that could be consumed by the fear of losing into loving and appreciating those around us with gusto, then perhaps we could live more presently and with less regret.