Take Time to Take Care

When we realize our energy has been scattered about, spilling over into worrying about and analyzing what is wrong with the world and with ourselves, taking on too much responsibility and blame for the difficulties in our relationships, over-identifying with the feelings and pains of others, so much so that we are not even sure how it is that we feel anymore...it is time to retreat inward and refill our cup with loving compassion. Refilling our cup means taking time to take care of ourselves, and being in tune with our own feelings, our own voice, and our own needs. With trust that intuitively we know what it is we need to feel renewed and rejuvenated. Realign ourselves with our priorities so that our energy is expended on what is most important for us. Bring awareness to our self-talk through meditation or journaling, and if we are being too harsh with ourselves, lighten up with more loving and compassionate dialogue. Read an excerpt from an inspirational book, watch a movie. Pamper our bodies with a facial, a bath, a yoga session. Enliven our senses with scented candles, incense, flower essences, healthy good-tasting food. Implore patience and empathic understanding with ourselves, if we're tired, slow down, take a nap, or go to bed early. Remember we are never alone, and reach out to a supportive and kind friend or family member, pray, or meditate. Rejuvenate ourselves through our connection to the natural world, and go for a walk, sit under the shade of a tree, bask in the sun, sit under the moonlight with a cup of tea and a journal. Take time to take care.

A Glimpse of Our Shadow

It is a dark and painful moment of awareness when we suddenly realize that we are doing the exact thing that we are most critical of in someone else. The weight of that new awareness, and the pain we may have caused ourselves or others as a result can feel overwhelming. The urge to run and crawl under a rock, freeze up like a deer in headlights, blame someone or something else can be immense, anything to avoid feeling the pain that can accompany such moments of clarity. So what happens if we don't freeze up, run away and hide, or blame others? We feel the pain. We allow the pain to move through us, we feel it in each one of our cells, and we don't resist it, we surrender to it, we embrace it. We acknowledge our truth, our imperfections, and the pain and shame that accompany denying any part of ourselves. We open to feeling, so that we may open to true healing. And just when we think we can't stand it any longer, we see the first rays of light of the approaching dawn, and we breathe a sigh of relief. Our pain has not consumed us, we are strong, we are resilient, and we discover a great freedom in knowing the truth. All in an instant we can both sympathize with the one that hurt us, and the one that we are are hurting, and consciously choose how to treat ourselves and others.

Live a life that you can feel at home in

I am at the tail end of my long journey through graduate school, I’m in my fourth year. That is what happens when you have nearly enough credits for two Master’s programs (Transpersonal Psychology and Counseling Psychology), and you have a baby in the middle. My husband and I are living an unconventional life with our dreams and passions leading the way, of which I receive considerable criticism for doing. My reaction to the criticism and doubt is what I work on now. I am coming to grips with the reality that what ultimately matters most is how I think and feel about my life, and that I must let go of the frustration I feel from not meeting the expectations that others have for me and the anger I feel for not being truly seen and heard; and that I must let go of the fight, because as long as I fight, I lose. Who am I fighting against really? Myself in the end, because as long as I allow the opinions of others to rule my life and cause me distress, I will never reach my full potential as a human being and will hinder those I choose to journey with as well. So now I find myself stepping into my own shoes with my head held high with an embodied knowing that I am living my life as authentically as I can, how else can any of us truly live a life worth living? A quote I picked up along the way that has stayed with me is

“the reward for conformity is that everyone liked you except yourself.”

So, be yourself, love yourself, and live a life that you can feel at home in. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to treat others the way you yourself would like to be treated...

Mothers Unite

Calling all mothers who are or were co-sleepers with their babies, implement or have implemented the cry-it-out method to avoid co-sleeping, practice or don't practice attachment style parenting, nurse to sleep or don't nurse at all, work full-time, part-time, or not at all, I think you get the idea... 

Let us be connected to one another by the common threads of motherhood and womanhood. Let us refrain from judging each other on how we choose to parent, and refrain from judging ourselves on how we choose to parent, and realize we all love our children, and are doing the best we can given our life's circumstances and experiences. Let us come together as allies so that we may offer support, encouragement, and inspiration along the path.

Feeling nourished, focused, and free

 I know that no man, or woman is an island, but sometimes when we feel too attached, or dependent on receiving approval from others, we need to retreat inward, and wrap ourselves in the warmth and love of our own little cocoons, and ask ourselves why we are searching, and anxiously grasping for approval and self-worth outside of ourselves. Why do we need permission from anyone to be ourselves, think our own thoughts, feel our own feelings, and follow our own light? What drives and motivates us to do what we do, and be what we be? If I am driven solely by the praise and approval I receive from others, then when I don't get those strokes, I will feel frustrated, needy, less than, and disconnected from myself. If I am driven by the fear of not doing the “right” thing, then I am not open to the possibility of inspired ideas and creativity. It's about accepting ourselves, taking value in who we are, and what we want, and who we are naturally. If we are acting, and moving from a place that is natural for us, we stop struggling against ourselves, and we are free to feel the joy that accompanies living a truthful existence. We must live out our own potential, because when we start or continue to acquiesce to the expectations that others may or may not have of us, then a part of us goes silent, a part of us becomes disconnected to the whole, to the beauty that is uniquely us. It takes a risk to fully be ourselves, and let it all hang out, especially when we have been conditioned to be what everyone around us wants us to be. Being ourselves comes with a certain sense of vulnerability, but there is also a freedom that comes from embracing who we are that is priceless, and very much worth all of the energy, pain, and effort that may be expended in the process. If we are not aligned with our purpose, how then can we go about exploring and embracing that which is uniquely us? For me, writing is one of the ways in which I stay connected to myself, my purpose, and my voice, and it helps keep me nourished, focused, and free. What helps you feel nourished, focused, and free? Meditation, yoga, running, dancing, singing, sewing, crafting, writing....?

Tuning in and being present

 It always seems like there are so many things that need to get done in a day, and then there's caring for and being present for my 11 month old baby girl, which trumps all the rest- She's so alert, and so tuned in to me and the world around her. My day can can be completely filled up by just attending to her many needs, and then there's finding a balance between tending to her needs, my own needs, my husband's needs, my dog's needs, and the household needs, which can feel like a daunting task at times. But being there for her, really being there with presence, mind cleared of all the clutter of school work, finances, and everyday stresses can bring peace. Looking into her bright blue eyes, so full of wonder, curiosity, and complete vulnerability always reminds me of what is truly important- A little soul that I am here to help guide, and to help her discover her divine purpose in this world- that is just magic, and simultaneously tuning into my own divine purpose in this life- that which brings me joy requires me to stay in the present moment and become aware of my own unique way in which I am destined to give back to this world. Everyone always says, time flies, so why then don't more people live in accordance with that reality? To make everyday count, to make certain that we are living in alignment with our purpose, with the essence of what makes us, us? Unique from all the rest? Living as if life has meaning with each interaction, how can we live more purposefully? First, by tuning in to the core of who we are, what made us happy as children? What were our goals, aspirations? What did we dream of when we imagined our lives as grown-ups? When my daughter goes to sleep for the night, what will I spend my time and energy doing and being? I start by having a voice, and expressing myself. What will you do, how will you be at the end and start to each day? Let's live life as if it matters, and make each moment count, so that when we look back on our lives here on Earth, we can say with confidence and pride that we really lived. 

Living in the present moment

Our pursuit of material wealth, our obsession with time and needing to fill our time with endless work and activity, our disconnection from God, our feelings, and our bodies, and our worry about, whatever... There could be an endless list of things to worry about; not meeting the expectations of others, finances, kids, health, state of the world, politics, relationships etc, that can deter us from seeing the beauty and possibility in each moment, can keep us from making peace with ourselves, and others, and can keep us from seeing the magic and purpose of our lives.
If we are living in the present moment, and not being pulled by our fears, we are open to seeing the unique gifts each moment has to offer, and the limitless potentiality we have to shape our lives to feel happy and at peace with ourselves, others, and the world. We are happy by simply being alive, open to discovery, wonderment, and creation. Let us bask in the richness of our lives, and connect with our thoughts, feelings, and intentions to reach our greatest potential.